Everybody gets cranky.  It’s just a part of life but when your kid is grumpy and you have things to do, it can seem like a monumental problem.  Here are a few ideas to try out that I use in the classroom to put the skids on crankiness.

Don’t Yell.  Tell Them How You Feel.

I try not to get angry with students who are being difficult, but rather tell them how it makes me feel to be around them when they are grumpy.  “When you speak to me that way it doesn’t make me feel like being around you.”  Avoid discussing the problem at hand or incident that made them cranky. Just tell them how it feels to be around a grumpy person. They know what it’s like.

Don’t Blame Them. Blame The World!

When you’re grumpy, the last thing you want to hear is that it’s your fault.  So flip it.  Blame everything and everyone else.  “Did someone do that to you?”  Get on their side and share their frustration.  Let them tell their story and be an attentive listener.

Tell Your Story

Ask them what made them grumpy and share a similar story that happened to you, empathizing with the problem at hand.

“That stinks!  That’s exactly what happened to me.  The other day I…”

Change the focus from them to you, and empathize with them, putting yourself in their shoes.  They wont feel so alone with their issue and you can bond over the cranky mood rather than fight about it. After a few minutes, it should pass.

You Need A hug!

When I was a kid if anyone in the family seemed terminally grumpy the family gathered around and said, “You need a hug.”  Of course no one thinks that they want a hug when they are grumpy, so it takes some effort to wrap crankiness in your arms and hold tight.  Inevitably, the grumpy one would cry or begin to laugh and would let the others know what the source of the bad mood was.

Remember, everyone is doing his or her best. So a good questions ask is, “Why is that crankiness my kid’s best right now?”  Sometimes it can be as simple as tired or hungry. Sometimes it’s more significant: an argument with a fried, disappointment about something, or too much to do and too little time.

And some cranky kids just need space and time to find their positive attitude again. But these tips can help get them smiling more quickly than getting grumpy yourself. Remember, crankiness is a symptom, not a disease.