Getting Ready for School: Making the Transition
Written by Dorcas Nung, MFT
Fall is just about here and soon school will be back in full swing. For most kids, this means getting used to a new teacher, classroom, or even a totally different school.
This is not an easy feat for many children. The new and unknown, or even something slightly different, can often be anxiety-provoking. Depending on temperament, level of support from parents, and past experience, kids may have an easier or harder time adjusting and making a smooth transition.
Take 9-year-old Alexandria, for instance. She is bright, well-rounded, and has always done well academically. She also tends to be an anxious kid who needs extra support from her parents in order to get out there and participate, especially in a new setting. This September, she will be going into a different classroom within the same school and her parents are expecting that she will need lots of additional reassurance from them.
Sammy is a 7-year-old who is moving from the school where his mom is a teacher to a Chinese immersion class at a different elementary. He will no longer see his mother during the day and he will be required to begin using an entirely different language!
If you are wondering how Sammy might do, it’s important to keep in mind that he had to repeat Kindergarten because he cried inconsolably for his mom nearly every day. For Sammy, moving to the first grade Chinese immersion class will not be easy.
So what can you do if, like Alexandria or Sammy’s parents, you expect that your child will have difficulty adjusting?
One of the best things you can do is start a conversation about the upcoming beginning of school. It’s a great way to help your kid identify anxieties and fears he or she may have. It also gives you a chance to offer reassurance and help build a sense of excitement about the possibilities that lie ahead: How does it feel to go back? What are some of the things you are looking forward to? How do you think this year will be different? Remember how much you liked school last year? This year is going to be even better.
By doing this, you show your child that you understand how hard it can be to get used to new and different people and situations. You are also letting him or her know that it’s safe to come back to you to talk about any problems once the school year really gets going.
While simply talking to a child in a generally positive way about the new school year is often enough, other kids may need more reassurance and support. Some ways to provide this include:
- Making a visit to a new school or classroom with your child.
- Having your child meet his or her new teacher before the first day.
- Asking the teacher (new or old) to describe what your child can expect, as specifically as possible. Talk about this with your child at home, going over the expectations concretely and realistically.
- Using a buddy system. If your child is entering a new school or classroom, is there another child you know who will be in the same school or classroom? Arrange for them to go meet beforehand or even go together on the first day.
- Creating a narrative. For younger children, it is often very helpful to put a story together using pictures and words about what to expect.
- Reinforce the positives. What are some of the good, fun, and interesting things that your child can look forward to? Talk these things up with your child!
With a little conversation, planning, and plenty of support (“You can do it! You’re a star!”), your child will enjoy a successful transition into the new academic year.
Dorcus is a child and family therapist in Los Angeles, California. She has her own blog, Diary of a Child Therapist.
August 25th, 2009
