The Parent’s Voice: It’s Okay To Disagree With Your Teacher
Written by Lauren Barack
Sooner or later you’re going to get a report, comment or some sort of review from a teacher about your child that you’re just not going to agree with — at all. If you’re like most parents, there’s going to be some resentment — and then confusion on how to deal with it. You might even have doubts about the way you saw your child in the first place. Plus many parents don’t want to create a conflict for their child, and are unwilling to have a, well, disagreement with a teacher. But guess what? You absolutely should.
Educating your child is a community project — there’s your child’s school and her teacher of course. But you get a voice, too. And disagreeing with a teacher is actually healthy — as long as you approach the situation in the right way.
Maybe your daughter’s 4th grade teacher believes she’s not reading up to her level —when at home you know she’s cruising through Tom Sawyer. Maybe your son’s 7th grade teacher thinks he isn’t showing any aptitude for algebra — but you know he’s kicking your butt at Sudoku on Sundays. Or maybe your daughter’s pre-K teacher believes she still can’t do jigsaw puzzles — even though she’d done them hundreds of times at home.
That last bit actually happened to us when our daughter was in Pre-K. Telling our daughter’s teacher that we felt differently, when we got her review, helped us all discover that our daughter was not doing certain basic activities in the classroom that we had seen her do at home. This helped her teacher shift her expectations for her, along with the way they interacted together.
Parent and teacher conferences are the perfect time to talk about these disagreements. If you come prepared with questions, and you’re respectful, chances are the teacher is going to be very open to your point of view. We all know children act differently in the classroom than they do at home. And helping a teacher see something about your kid that’s not happening in class helps you, it helps them — and it helps your child.
Lauren Barack, parent and business and education reporter, is a contributor to The K5. She has blog about the trials of motherhood, MothersOnTheVerge.com
April 3rd, 2009
